Always Remember.

I never really understood that there were people in this world that truly hated our country, that is... not until ten years ago.

Here's what I've never been able to wrap my mind around regarding Sept 11, 2001:

I can't understand how any group of people out there can think of the U.S.A. as evil and want to cause such pain and loss and devastation to innocent people like all of those that lost their lives who were just spending another day at the office. Or their loved ones who, when they learned of the attack, were immediately concerned about their safety. Or all of the firefighters and service men and women who are still feeling the effects from breathing in all of those toxins during the clean up efforts.

Never forget? Of course not -- it would be an impossibility for any of us... to forget such a horrible and tragic event.

Forgetting is definitely impossible.

But instead of saying "Never Forget", why not say "Always Remember" ..?

Always Remember those that risked and gave their lives in trying to help getting as many people to safety as possible...

Always Remember those on United Flight 93 that banded together to not allow another successful strike on another target and who took the power back from their plane's hijackers...

Always Remember that feeling that we all had deep in the pit of our stomachs when we first learned the news of what was happening that day...

Always Remember...... not just on anniversaries, but every day.

Is this country perfect? HA! Far from it, but it is my home and I'm proud to be an American.

No country is perfect just as no human being is perfect -- we all have our flaws... but I'm proud that, when there's a need to help others out, Americans will stand up and volunteer. We do what is necessary to help others out at home and abroad whenever we can. Sometimes over and above the call of duty... it's hard for me to imagine that the first shift of clean up efforts on 9/12/2001 lasted 24 hours. I doubt I could physically keep moving that long, but who knows?

I am an American after all.

If you're really proud to be an American, you will Always Remember.

Trials of Love

Life has a way of testing you... usually over and over and over.

We all face hard times in life and we all experience highs and lows.

I've struggled with finding someone who I love and who loves me that I can trust my heart with completely for many, many years. Last year, I got involved in a serious relationship with someone and my life was completely changed forever. Everything felt new. She made absolutely everything better in my life. It gave me hope for the future because I could see that she really loved me and cared about not only me, but my children as well.

A few days after my last blog, she tried to end our relationship believing that it was for the best because of the seemingly impossible situation she has been in for a long time now dealing with an insane, psychotic, controlling and manipulative ex-boyfriend (and father of her daughter). She didn't want anything to happen to me and thought he would go so far as to kill me and she cared about me and loved me so much as to try and end our relationship because she thought it was for the best for ME. She still wanted to be with me as much as ever but she put that aside because she didn't want anything to happen to me.

That is love.

Love is self-sacrificing, and that is exactly what she was doing. The thing is, it devastated me. After all this time of hoping to find someone to love me and my kids who I also loved as well, someone who enhanced every aspect of my life, someone who makes me want to be a better man -- a better friend, a better father, a better partner, a better lover and eventually a better husband than I have ever been before... after finding that person in her there was no way I could just give up and walk away...........

Now that we made it past that difficult time.. we are better than ever before. Making it through such a trying time in our relationship has solidified how we both feel about each other and we are both hopeful for our future together.

Of course, there's still the psycho ex (who I usually refer to as psycho-boy or psycho-pants) but, as I told her during that time: we can't allow someone like that to control our lives. No one should allow someone to have such control. I refuse to live in fear of any so-called "man" who continues to threaten her and her loved ones...

So no, things aren't perfect -- it's not a perfect world we live in. But we are stronger than ever before and we have hope for our future life together and I have never been happier in my entire life. I look so forward to the two of us being married and living together and even having another baby together... I daydream about those times ahead quite often and it brings a huge smile to my face each and every time.

For anyone who reads this, I would like to ask for your continued prayers for us.. but especially for her. True, I'm in a difficult spot because she doesn't want me to confront him but I can't imagine how difficult it all must be for her. I continue to lay low because it is what she wants, and continually showing her how very much I love her is respecting her wishes.. especially right now.

She is my life, my heart, my everything. Wherever she is that's where I want to be... but it's also where I am meant to be. <3

People

I love people, I really do.

I especially love helping people in need when I can.

But some people... some say and do some of the dumbest things.

Like filing a disability claim for their 10 month old baby with the allegation of:

"Learning Disability"

...

For real?

Are you serious?

What, did your baby not pick up potty training by their 10 month or what?

Babies... are BABIES.

Some things just take time.

(Especially that potty training thing, ..and yes I'm fully aware that 10 months is way too early for that. Please, please don't be one of those people -- just go with it).

Some people learn things at a different pace.

Just chill out and be patient and work with your child a little more.

I mean, you're not even a year into this parenting thing... you're gonna need a lot more practice with this "patience" stuff, trust me.

Some people call me and ask some of the craziest questions.

Well, not just me, but my coworkers, too.

Things like the following examples:

#1

Person: "I have a certain phobia. Can I get disability? Or do I need more than just my phobia to qualify?" (Really? You're scared of something, and you want a check. Wow. Why didn't I think of that? Oh that's right, I'm not one of those people).

#2

Person: "I'd like to speak with my lawyer." (Then call his office? lol, why'd you call us?) /shrug

#3

Me: "Your claim is still currently processing."

Person: "What does 'processing' mean?" (Same person has asked me this question the last 5 times they have called, and I have explained it each and every time).

Sometimes they call multiple times a day.

Some people just need a new hobby I guess.

Most people I talk with, unfortunately, seem to want something for nothing.

They have a certain issue in their life and they wholeheartedly believe they should qualify for disability. But come on, everyone has their own issues and problems -- it doesn't mean that you should automatically get a check every month for it.

The worst part is that, because there are SO many people that fit into the above category, they take up time by workers that really should be spent working on the cases of people that have serious health/mental issues in their lives.

My heart goes out to these people, it really does.

They are usually so sweet when I talk to them, too. You can tell they are trying their best to stay positive in the face of real adversity. They are usually dealing with unimaginable difficulties in their lives and they are the people that are the reason certain institutions like where I work even exist.

I guess, though, that I should be glad that both groups of these people call and are filing all these claims in the first place.

Without all of them, they may not have needed another person to answer calls like this:

Person: "I would like to check the status of my claim."

...a few moments later into the call...

Me: "A decision was recently made on your claim. You should receive your decision in the mail within the next few weeks -- you do have to receive all decisions in writing as we cannot disclose those over the phone."

Person: "So what was the decision?"

Me: "... you have to receive all decisions in writing."

Person: "You mean you can't just tell me?"

Me: "...... we cannot disclose decisions over the phone."

Person: "Was it good or bad?"

Me: ( ...head smacks down onto desk hopelessly... )

You have NO IDEA how often that last scenario plays out each and every week. /sigh

Changing my life, one step at a time.

Okay so... I've struggled with being overweight my entire life.

I've tried out for The Biggest Loser twice.

At times over the years, I've tried to eat a little better but gave up quickly each time and just kinda thought, "Oh well, guess I'm stuck like this."

A year ago, I tried to get out and start being more active by walking for at least 15 to 20 minutes every other day (which is a good, slow start for me and a lot of other people) but I soon developed an issue with my sciatic nerve shooting intense pain down my left leg.

SO, needless to say, the walking was short-lived and I had a new problem.

After a few months, I found a wonderful "Maximized Living" chiropractor that helped me start to turn things around. Dr. Ben Follas is a great guy who honestly cares about people and helping them in all aspects of their lives. His focus is to get your neck and spine as close to perfect as possible, the way God designed it to be, to alleviate pain and to also un-pinch nerves that cause other serious problems/illnesses/diseases.

Dr. Ben is located in Hendersonville, TN and this is his website: http://www.livingwellchiro.net

After a few months, my pain was gone, and I started to eat healthier as well. This is a big focal point for Dr. Ben. To sort of re-learn how to eat but eat wisely and stop putting horrible sugars and other toxins into our bodies.

I've come a long way from where I started, but I still have a long way to go... As my adjustments with Dr. Ben continued.. I developed a new kind of pain also caused by my sciatic nerve but the pain is now located in my left foot. I have faith that this pain will also eventually be gone as well, I just need to keep pressing on down this life-changing road.

I'm going to list out the key things I have changed here on this blog, as they have helped me to lose a total of 33 pounds so far -- which would be more if I was able to get out and walk every day or every other day, but I'm still not quite there due to this current pain I'm experiencing in my left foot. (I will get there eventually, though! Mark my words!!!)

First off, and this is THE most important change to make:

DRINK WATER. Nothing else.

No seriously, did you really get that?

NOTHING ELSE. Ever. Never ever ever ever.

If you can't or won't do this, then you don't really care about making a real change in your life and you will be stuck.

I personally HATE water. Always have. There's just no taste to it. It's plain. It has always begged for additives to make it tasty and more enjoyable.

But if you really want to lose weight and be healthier and have a better life, you'll do it.

You'll make this change. If I can do it, anybody can!

I now drink 8 water bottles a day at 16.9 ounces each that I filter in a PUR water pitcher at home that i keep in my fridge. (Amazon sells them for less than $15: http://www.amazon.com/PUR-CR-6000-2-Stage-Oval-Shaped-Water-Filtration/dp/B000QRDMY8/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1301755748&sr=8-1-spell)

I started out having to drink 9 water bottles a day.

Do the math: Divide how much you weigh by 2. Your answer is the number of ounces of water your body needs per day.

So, now that we've gotten THE most important step covered, let me list all the key points:

1. Drink half your body weight in ounces of water every day.

2. Do NOT eat sugar. Do NOT use substitutes. STOP eating sugar, period! Substitutes are bad for your body and sugar is what breeds cancer. (See: http://www.mnwelldir.org/docs/nutrition/sugar.htm)

3. Stay away from grains. Not just bread, but cereals and protein bars and anything with grains. Whole grains = good for you? Nope, it's a myth. (See: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/why-grains-are-unhealthy/)

4. Eat good fats. Coconut milk (from a can, only!), avocados, etc. Also choose fish or chicken whenever possible. Avoid beef unless it's beef you get from a local farmer's market. Go with turkey whenever possible. And just stop fast-food altogether. If that seems impossible, do some research online and look at the nutrition information on items from fast-food restaurants. There are some decent alternatives out there such as Taco Bell's Fresco items, Wendy's salads and grilled chicken sandwiches, Subway's sandwiches (although you should definitely limit these! All that bread is NOT good for you! Jared lies! lol)

5. Don't go crazy, but allow yourself one meal a week to eat as you please. Simply minimize your portions and don't over-eat. Myself and my kids as well -- we love pizza. We usually get that every other week or so. I used to stuff my face with pizza constantly, even when I was already full. Listen to your body... if it tells you to stop -- then STOP!

Along with drinking water, another key for me has been having breakfast smoothies I make at home every morning. These will give you TONS of good stuff your body needs and they will also keep you full for 4 to 5 hours.

Breakfast Smoothie

1 cup of frozen berries

1/3 can of coconut milk

1/2 to 3/4 cup of almond milk (unsweetened)

1 scoop of whey protein

10 to 12 almonds

5 to 7 fresh spinach leaves

I have personally used chocolate flavored whey protein powder along with a cup of frozen blueberries and have finished it off at 6:45am and not been hungry until after 12 Noon.

(Chocolate + blueberries may sound strange, but it really is THE best combination in my opinion. Another good option is strawberry protein powder + blueberries... Mmmmmm......)

I use this: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0017XHSAE

It's a great personal little blender that lets you take it and go! It even fits in my cup-holder in my car! It's awesome and only costs about $16.

Having one of these smoothies *every day* -- with different variations on the flavors of the protein powder and berries used -- has been a vital part of my new life and new eating habits.

(I even put in half an avocado now because I don't care for them and this is the best way for me to eat them. I love love LOVE these breakfast smoothies!)

Now, most importantly, don't call whatever plan of action you take a "diet". Most people associate this with something temporary: "I'm going to start my diet next week."

Don't start something you are thinking of as being temporary and give hope to it being a quick fix.

START A NEW LIFE!!!

Make serious changes and realize you need to change *all* of your eating habits as well as any other habits that may be detrimental to your health. (Smoking, laying around watch TV all the time, etc.)

Put the cigarettes down.

Put the remote down.

Get up. Get out.

LIVE.

My Prison

I’m fine in my prison

Just leave me here

I have visitors that come

And keep me near

They understand my pain

They lift me up and comfort me

People that I love

And friends that will never leave

Only my loved ones are allowed in here

No one else can interfere

These walls I have built

They keep us all safe

Away from the storms

And out of harm’s way

I’ve done my best

To let it all fade

But a lot of memories

Are just here to stay

Along with regret

And a lifetime of pain

I wish that it all

Could be flushed down the drain

But because of it all

I have two shining stars in my life

They are the ones that

Truly ease all the strife

Unconditional love

They freely give

Because of them

I can really live

No, it’s not perfect here

The walls are tattered and torn

But here in my prison

I feel safe and warm

It’s here that I reside

Without any fear

I’m fine in my prison

Just leave me here

3/31/11