We all face hard times in life and we all experience highs and lows.
I've struggled with finding someone who I love and who loves me that I can trust my heart with completely for many, many years. Last year, I got involved in a serious relationship with someone and my life was completely changed forever. Everything felt new. She made absolutely everything better in my life. It gave me hope for the future because I could see that she really loved me and cared about not only me, but my children as well.
A few days after my last blog, she tried to end our relationship believing that it was for the best because of the seemingly impossible situation she has been in for a long time now dealing with an insane, psychotic, controlling and manipulative ex-boyfriend (and father of her daughter). She didn't want anything to happen to me and thought he would go so far as to kill me and she cared about me and loved me so much as to try and end our relationship because she thought it was for the best for ME. She still wanted to be with me as much as ever but she put that aside because she didn't want anything to happen to me.
That is love.
Love is self-sacrificing, and that is exactly what she was doing. The thing is, it devastated me. After all this time of hoping to find someone to love me and my kids who I also loved as well, someone who enhanced every aspect of my life, someone who makes me want to be a better man -- a better friend, a better father, a better partner, a better lover and eventually a better husband than I have ever been before... after finding that person in her there was no way I could just give up and walk away...........
Now that we made it past that difficult time.. we are better than ever before. Making it through such a trying time in our relationship has solidified how we both feel about each other and we are both hopeful for our future together.
Of course, there's still the psycho ex (who I usually refer to as psycho-boy or psycho-pants) but, as I told her during that time: we can't allow someone like that to control our lives. No one should allow someone to have such control. I refuse to live in fear of any so-called "man" who continues to threaten her and her loved ones...
So no, things aren't perfect -- it's not a perfect world we live in. But we are stronger than ever before and we have hope for our future life together and I have never been happier in my entire life. I look so forward to the two of us being married and living together and even having another baby together... I daydream about those times ahead quite often and it brings a huge smile to my face each and every time.
For anyone who reads this, I would like to ask for your continued prayers for us.. but especially for her. True, I'm in a difficult spot because she doesn't want me to confront him but I can't imagine how difficult it all must be for her. I continue to lay low because it is what she wants, and continually showing her how very much I love her is respecting her wishes.. especially right now.
She is my life, my heart, my everything. Wherever she is that's where I want to be... but it's also where I am meant to be. <3
